Color My Life with The Chaos of Trouble

"There's no such thing as love. It's fantasy."

- Summer Finn

Is it really? There's no such thing as love?
I love you, Summer, but I guess I can just agree to disagree.

Whoops, hi readers!
You know the movie (500) Days of Summer?

The movie that's starring the dreamy Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the one-of-a-kind Zooey Deschanel directed by Marc Webb and released in 2009.
This movie claimed that it's not a love story, but a story about love.

Whatever it is, I love that movie ever since I watched it a few years ago. And a few weeks ago, I watched it again.

I don't mean to promote this movie, but if you haven't watched it, then you should. Really.

Because it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. I'm in love with meaningful movies and the plot is usually where I pay attention to. And this movie has captured my heart.
It's not just because there are these dating ideas that make you scream
"I WANT TO HAVE AN IKEA DATE LIKE THEM"
or karaoke night, or screaming games, or stealing kisses in the copy room...

It's also because I can't stop agreeing to some of the words being said by the characters in the movie.

I feel like I relate to it and when I watched it, I felt like I was being slapped and hugged at the same time.

(SPOILER ALERT!)

I’d like to believe that I'm different. I’m one in 7 billion.

Being in an all-girl school for 3 years has shaped me to be a strong and independent woman who doesn’t rely on men to do most things. I am used to do things with my girlfriends or even on my own, from going home to bringing my own shopping bags.

And since I’m an introvert, I even enjoy being by myself. It’s so common to find me in a movie theatre or restaurant alone.
And sometimes my longing for solitude makes people confused.
They often don't get it why I like watching movies alone in the movie theatre.
Moreover, relationships are so complicated. It's like.. you have to be responsible to someone's feelings other than yours.
Keeping my own heart is hard enough, let alone keeping someone else's heart too.

I guess it's true.
I used to think that if there's someone is as weird as me, he's my soul mate.
But you don't really need someone who likes the same bizarro crap that you do, right?

You just need someone who accepts you for every bizarro crap that you like. Or do.
As a matter of fact, who's as weird and awesome as you? No one. ;)

And she answered, "But I can't give you that. Nobody can."

It hurts but I really agree with that.

No one knows what's going to happen tomorrow.

Your lover can just wake up one day and doesn't love you anymore.

Well, I don't know, maybe that's just an excuse for the fact that I can never be sure with my own feelings.

When there's actually someone who says "I like how weird you are"

I would think it's weird

and I freak out

and I naturally run as fast as I can.

And sometimes I want someone to cuddle with,

but the other time I feel like they freaking annoy me when they are there to cuddle with me.

Does that even make any sense??

This is a curse and a blessing that when I get close to someone, I will be more honest about my opinion.

I wouldn't pretend that I like everything you talk about.

Because sometimes I don't. Because sometimes I daze when you talk about something you like and I'm kind of "Sorry, I stopped listening like 5 minutes ago..."

...but I would be angry if you do that to me.

Oh, and I wouldn't pretend that I want to see you all the time. Because sometimes I just want to lay in my bed on a Saturday, watching movies or writing on my blog.

When I think you annoy me, I would tell you.

And when I like what you do, you would know.

If I'm bored (which I would probably be), I would tell you.

But, when I think you're interesting, I would tell you as well :)

Can I say that it's one of the perks of dating me? Is this even a perk?

I might be honest about my opinion.

But I can't always open up about my feelings, my past, my deep dark secrets...

I sometimes just find some short answer and stick with it.

So, I met this amazing guy only 3 months ago.
Okay, maybe I'm just exaggerating. Maybe he's not that amazing.
But he unintentionally helped me to discover who I really am, what I really passionate about, and it was so helpful because I finally get such enlightenment about what I want and what I should do with my life.
And somehow he motivates me to do the right things, to be more mature, to think simply.
Yes, he's weird. But not as weird as me. It's a different kind of weird. It's just somehow his weirdness is compatible with mine.
Yes, we like the same things. But we like different things, too.
Yes, he's sometimes ignorant. But I know he will spend his time with me or reply my text when he really wants to.. instead of doing it to spoil me.

You know the phrase, "It begins with a simple talk, then it blooms into a long and deep conversation. Next thing I know, I begin to care so much"?
That's exactly what happened.
And it freaks me out to know that I start caring about him. A lot.
Maybe I'm just afraid of the possibility of being in the state of attaching and be attached by someone. Again.
No matter how he might convince me that he's not the type of person who gets overly attached.
Besides, maybe he's just like any other guys who would be bored and gone after a few weeks, right? Who knows?

But days passed and he's still here.
And it's not just fun spending time with him..
It kinda feels right, too.
I don't know what it's called but he makes love sound like a good idea.