Single or Taken?
Banyak orang di sekitar saya yang mengeluh karena gak punya pacar. Saya jadi heran kenapa jomblo alias single (What? Single itu pilihan, jomblo itu nasib? Sorry, guys, it's the same, just different language..) itu jadi kayak tabu di masyarakat. Diejek lah, diledekin, disindir, dikasihanin, sampe mau dibikinin program khusus sama Gubernur Jakarta Terpilih buat bantuin jomblo dapetin pasangan! Luar biasa memang yaaa, oke oce!
Oke, memang gak semua. Ada yang enggak kok. Tapi ada aja yang bilang ke saya, "Gimana nih gue gak punya-punya pacar" (true story!) seakan-akan being single is so wrong. Seakan-akan susaaah banget jadi jomblo.
Apa susahnya coba? You just have to focus on you, your feelings, your goals, and just you alone! Everything is about you. You and your priorities. Easy, peasey, lemon squeezy...
But when you're in a relationship, it's not about you anymore.
Dan bagi seseorang yang sudah terlalu lama sendiri seperti Kunto Aji... ehm, maksudnya seperti saya, being in a relationship is not easy.
For those of you who've been following me on Instagram might know that I've been in a relationship for 7 months now. My boyfriend is an amazing guy (well, this is totally exaggerating, he's fairly average), but you know what? It is hard. It's not easy at all.
Bahkan mau ketemuan aja gak mudah, astagahh...
Nih ya, kami berdua sibuk (He's busy working and I'm mostly busy dating with my bed. What can I say? My bed is so clingy!) tapi kadang pengen dong ketemuan. Tapi emang dasar dua-duanya super mager, mau rumah deketan juga tetep aja jarang ketemu :') Kadang mau nonton bareng tapi dia suka telat. Since I'm kinda strict with movie time, I got mad and that's a problem.
Bukan hanya itu, setelah sekian lama, sekarang saya harus rela ditanya "Lagi ngapain?" atau "Lagi dimana?" selain sama Mama. Dan sama seperti pertanyaan dari Mama, ini juga gak bisa dijawab "Ada deehh."
Sekarang saya harus ngasih kabar. Udah sampe kampus lah, on the way pulang...
Oke, sebenernya gak harus sih karena dia gak minta. Tapi saya mau dia lebih tau tentang saya dibanding orang-orang lain.
Saya juga harus lebih memperhatikan perasaannya. Diajak pergi berdua sama cowok lain? Di otak langsung mikir "Would he be okay with this?"
Again, everything would be fine kalau saja dia berpikiran hal yang sama. Karena kadang malah dia yang gak ngasih kabar karena menurut dia itu gak penting. So, I got disappointed and that's another problem.
People say love means putting someone else's needs before yours.
Tadinya saya merasa itu berlebihan. Saya pikir saya tetap harus jadi prioritas dong, harus selalu diutamakan. Tapi tanpa saya sadari, kadang saya melakukan itu juga; berkorban untuk orang yang saya sayang. As simple as giving him my favorite ice cream or my last piece of snack. As simple as listening to him on the phone, talking about motorbikes or Korean songs that I don't really understand, even tho I'm tired AF.
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| Ini lebay banget sih hahahahha |
Masih banyak masalah kebiasaan dan perbedaan cara pikir lainnya.
Dulu saya selalu berpikir, "If it's not easy, then he's not the one."
Well... unfortunately, life is not that easy. Menentukan seseorang bukan "the one", memutuskan untuk let go of someone dan meyakini diri kalau kamu gak akan berakhir bersamanya, gak semudah itu.
Dulu saya gak pernah mikir terlalu serius tentang pacaran. Menurut saya, pacaran itu supaya bahagia. Kalau pacar bikin bahagia ya memang seharusnya seperti itu, tapi kalau enggak, ya buat apa? Tinggalin aja.
But then I learned that everyone is a problem. Every single one of them. Choosing "the one" for you is like choosing which problem you want to struggle with for the rest of your life. And so far, I think I can accept him to annoy me for the rest of my life.
So, my point is, either you're single or in a relationship, problems are undeniable. You just have to accept it, face it, and try to find a solution for it.
If you're in a relationship and you feel good about it (just like me!), then hold on to it.
If you're single, then be like Elsa.
Gifs: giphy.com
Photo: beritahati.com
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